Tenabrae Shadows
Tonight our church is having a Tenabrae service. This may not seem that special to a lot of people, but it is to us because we don’t normally have these kinds of services. For us a return to tradition is deeply significant, because it means we are acting not out of habit but out of true desire and devotion. I’m working on a short reading to give in the first triplet of scripture reading. It’s still a little rough, but here goes:
If I were a disciple, I imagine, I would be endlessly devoted
I would sit at his knee day and night
I would center my life around memorizing his words
clarifying my memory
Asking questions and learning answers
casting aside every shadow
living in his pure light
I imagine myself head on his lap
Eyes to his eyes
Lips repeating every word, breath, rhythm, glance,
Until our souls were intertwined
I would devote myself to writing his story
Explaining to the world who he was
I would never hear him crying in the distance
I would be at his side
I would never deny him
I would be like a bride
I imagine these things
And then look at my life
The days that have passed without reading his story
The nights that go by without prayers into my pillow
The weeks and months that dwindle without devotion
And I wonder
Would I be the one to deny, to betray?
Would I be the one to look the other way?
Would I be the one who slept through his darkest hour?
In the garden, in the garden,
Would I realize the time, or let it pass away
into the cold ground
Into history
Distracted by myself?
Nicole replied:
Your reading is beautiful. Haunting. Perfect.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
March 20, 2008 at 2:45 pm. Permalink.
lesbiansaidwhat replied:
What is tenabrae?
March 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm. Permalink.
shush replied:
Nicole: thanks. The lady organizing the service said she liked it as is, as well.
lesbiansaidwhat: It’s a traditional service, here’s the wikipedia page about it.
March 20, 2008 at 6:43 pm. Permalink.
Pixiemom replied:
Absolutely beautiful and oh, so true… made me cry feeling so inadequate right now.
March 22, 2008 at 9:54 pm. Permalink.
amberfireinus replied:
You know…You might find this an absolutely rediculous thought. But here goes. I believe that each person in the story of Jesus did the role intended. They did exactly what Jesus wanted and were true to God by their deeds.
Relax while I follow through..
You see, each in the denial, the betrayal, the doubt.. served a purpose. The purpose to teach us all. It made Jesus’s story all that more powerful. That no man is above these things in his weakest hour. And that God loves us inspite of ourselves and our weaknesses. We can learn from our mistakes and grow.
The story of Jesus had so much more power with this added to it. It made his sacrifice far more significant.
I think people miss this. They only see the outcome of what happened, and not the wider picture of it. For we each have or own role to play in life. Even if at the time it seems it isn’t such a good one.
March 24, 2008 at 4:57 pm. Permalink.