Sighted Faith
I get irritated, at times, with the idea that faith is necessarily blind. While there is rarely certainty in life, that doesn’t mean that things are always undefinable. Some things, like faith, can be inspired not by a simple hope that there is more to life but by a knowledge that life must have depth, and while that depth is undefined I believe that it’s existence can be known with certainty.
To put it in clearer terms: I do not simply have “faith” that God exists, I believe I know this with absolute surety. My faith in God comes not from a dewy-eyed hope that there is more to life but from an absolute conviction that I would not be here, alive, breathing and sane, without the existence of a higher power. While my experiences could never be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to anyone else, they HAVE proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to me myself that God is real.
I won’t go into details. Some things are simply too personal to be aired in a public forum. And I am fairly certain that those who tend to agree with me would do so without details, and those who tend to disagree would do so no matter how detailed I became. After all, I could say, “God spoke to me”, and one might ask, “with a real voice?”. If I responded, “it was real enough for me,” they might ask, “could anyone else have heard it?” If I responded, “there was no one else to hear,” then the obvious interjection would be, “then how does one know it to truly be real?”
No one but me does.
I don’t care.
I know it to be real, because I know myself and I know my life, and my life proves to me that there is a God. Even if that God is one of my own invention, the faith that I have in him has made me kind and generous, tolerant and brave, loving and good. The faith, even if it is stupid, has helped to mold me into something I certainly never would have become without it. I take great offense at the implication that such faith is stupid, because how is faith, borne of experience, faith that pushes and convicts and explains and changes, a bad thing? I don’t ask that anyone else share my faith, because my faith is deeply personal and none could fully share it without sharing my life and my soul, all I ask is that they understand that the faith cannot be separated from the girl, and to mock my faith is to mock my very existence, my deeds and my heart as well as my beliefs.
This week is a holy week, and one that births in me thoughts of my own suffering and temperance, and thoughts of how close and how far I am from the faith and life I feel God wishes to give me.
I think today is as good a day as any, perhaps a better day, to consider the quality of faith and life this year should inspire.
I want my faith to be a sighted and focused one. I don’t want to stumble in the dark towards an unknown goal. I have a goal: to be Christ’s bride. That goal also dictates the path of my life. For like a bride preparing for her groom, thoughts of how best to please should encompass my every thought, I should wait for his word and touch with bated breath and feel that I would die without him.
And I do- I feel that I would die without him.
Perhaps that is stupid.
I don’t care.
Nicole replied:
Beautifully written. I can echo so much of this - thank you for posting it.
March 22, 2008 at 3:28 pm. Permalink.
jaklumen replied:
I won’t go into details. Some things are simply too personal to be aired in a public forum.
I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t want things that are deeply personal, sacred, and special to me to be subject to open mockery or ridicule.
I too know, down to the depths of my soul, the reality of Diety in my life. I realize I can’t always explain that in a way that is satisfactory to everyone or even most, but it is what it is about I AM THAT I AM.
March 22, 2008 at 3:47 pm. Permalink.
Robaigh replied:
This is a beautiful post. Blessings to you!
March 22, 2008 at 4:12 pm. Permalink.
DM replied:
I felt it again today in the way you expressed yourself: vulnerability, passion,grace and intelligence…a great balance
March 22, 2008 at 7:10 pm. Permalink.
Carol replied:
You have, in this short eloquent post, put into words how I feel about my faith. I’ve tried to explain to some people in my life how much faith I have and how it directs my life. They don’t understand.
Other people have asked me to explain to them my relationship with the Lord and then they’re offended when I say I can’t explain it because my relationship with Him is extremely personal to me and difficult to talk about. They then say, ‘Well you must not be saved if you can’t talk about your relationship with Him’. Maybe it’s me but I don’t see how one is connected to the other. I often feel His presence and know He guides my life, so how do I explain that to others? I get so tired of my inability (and unwillingness) to explain being used as a measurement of salvation and belief.
March 22, 2008 at 7:43 pm. Permalink.
Jen replied:
Thank you for putting in to words what I’ve always felt. This is such a wonderful post!
March 22, 2008 at 11:44 pm. Permalink.
ltommylovesmusic replied:
Though it may be difficult to put into words a definitive description of your relationship with God, I feel that doing so is part of your duty as a Christian. You see, there are people out there who are skeptical, who feel that they are logical in their reasonings. They feel that they need indisputable evidence that there is a true God. The problem is that these people are not truly logical, for if they were, they would see all of the beauty that our world has to offer as their indisputable evidence. So, it is the job of a Christian to stifle the non-believers’ skepticisms and to give them the news of love, hope, and salvation–no matter what it takes.
Here is my argument towards you: Have you really tried, down to the very depths of your being, to share to all of the world around you the truths of God and Jesus Christ? Sadly, I fret that the answer is “no.” The reason for my saying this is not for the purpose of judging you, rather, it is for the purpose of allowing you to see the error of your thinking. You see, even though you do have a concern for the spreading of the truth, you limit yourself in doing so; you give yourself boundaries by not adding any of your personal experiences to your story when you express your incontrovertible belief that there is a supreme being and a holy, divine designer–God!. The problem is not that you don’t do this, the problem rather, is that you don’t do it because you fear the ridicule that you may receive from the non-believers. This is not a fear that should be crossing your mind, after all, you have Jesus on your side. If you realized the importance of spreading the word, no matter what it takes, you would understand more clearly what I am trying to say.
You see, the fact is that three people die every second. This means that one-hundred and eighty people die every minute. Now, there are sixty minutes in an hour, and there are twenty-four hours in a day. If you do the math, that relates to 259,200 people a day! How many of those people do you think are actually going to Heaven? More pertinent to this situation, however, is the question, “How many people do you think are actually going to Hell?” The answer is probably most of them, and that is truly sad. You see, most people are good people, but they still go to Hell because they didn’t give their life to the Lord. That is why I say that you, and all of us Christians, should be working harder to spread the word, for if any person goes to Hell because they never heard of Christ’s love for them, then we Christians, Gods living instruments, are failing at our purpose.
So, I beg that you sit down, whenever you have a chance, and truly think about how you can incorporate your personal accounts and experiences into your proofs of there being a God. And if you are ridiculed, all you have to do is pray about it because at least you gave the ridiculers a chance, and even though they chose damnation, you offered salvation.
Thank you for posting your article, “Sighted Faith.” I truly did appreciate it. I, too, am a Christian, and I, too, fall under the same trap of fearing ridicule when it comes to spreading the word. This post is one of my first attempts to overcome that fear, and I hope that it helps others to do the same. I am eighteen years old, and I still have a lot to learn, so Please forgive me if this reply offends anyone. I truly did appreciate the post, and I wish all of you the best. My prayers are with you, and I wish you all the best. God bless!
March 23, 2008 at 2:40 am. Permalink.
shush replied:
nicole: thank you.
jaklumen: Thank you- the sacred must remain so. I don’t mind at all sharing my story from one person to another, but as Kurt Vonnegut says if you open a window to make love to the world, all you’ll get is pneumonia (I’m paraphrasing, actually, but that’s the gist.)
robaigh: thank you, sincerely.
DM: I have no words. Thank you, so much.
Carol: There is nothing that means more to me than feeling that I give voice to those who struggle for words. Your comment means the world to me, and I say that without a touch of irony.
Jen: I’m glad to be of service!
ltommylovesmusic: I take your rebuke as it was meant- because I feel it was your wish to make me a more effective disciple, not to shame me. Just understand that in my everyday life I am truly open about every aspect of my faith, I’m an active member of my church and involved in leadership, and it’s part of my role to live without pretence and without secrets, but here on the internet it is another world completely. I cannot know the motives or intentions of everyone that reads this blog, and hence I keep certain aspects of my life under a cloud. It’s not done out of fear, per say, simply the knowledge that for some things to remain sacred they must be treated with a soft touch. If you, singularly, wanted to know my story I would have no issue with telling you. I simply won’t post it to a public blog.
March 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm. Permalink.
Tony replied:
Okay, this may border on Trolling and for that I apologize.
Itommylovesmusic, I’ve got to say that you are way off-base with your remark. Where do you get off saying you doubt Shush’s commitment to helping and saving people? I can tell you that she is the most committed and successful person at spreading the word of God I have ever met, and I’ve met quite a few. I can tell you that from what I’ve just read she will be a hell of a lot more successful at bringing people to heaven than you will ever be, you may have more of your “blind”conviction, but she has enlightenment and the ability to relate to people, which will bring people to God a hell of a lot faster than your condescending self-righteous preaching ever will. That long comment you made embodies everything that drove me away from the church in the first place, and it runs contrary to the theme of this post which is that we need to keep our eyes open in our faith and look listen and feel what others are saying and not just blindly spread the word.
You say you come across ridicule for your faith, and I’d like to set the record straight, I don’t ridicule you for it. I rebuke you for the attitude you carry around with it. You are not better than the rest of the world because of your faith, you are not innately more right because of it. You are Itommylovesmusic who happens to be a Christian who claims to be committed to spreading the word of Jesus, but refuses to see that his own faults are hampering his ability to do what he yearns for most. You need to stop preaching and start listening so that you can relate to the people you are trying to help and they can relate to you.
I hope someday you come to realize this and gain the success you desire.
March 24, 2008 at 3:31 pm. Permalink.
amberfireinus replied:
Shush…I find you so interesting on so many levels. Your authenticity just shines through. I have a close friend who is an Orthodox priest. He says to me what I will say to you. He tells me that I am one of God’s chosen few that truly know God. They that have that authentic and true connection. Not one of any teaching. The few who can actually hear the voice of God and embace it without question that it is… just that.
As you know, I find it difficult to deal with many Christians. They believe that they alone know God. I think that is sad. God speaks to us in so many ways, so that we can understand him fully.
There is no right way. There is only the authentic and personal way. The way to knowing who God is in your heart, and your life. Following him with your own light…
Your posts teach and guide… I believe God speaks through you so that others may hear. Keep writing…. we all need to hear what you can so easily…
March 24, 2008 at 4:17 pm. Permalink.
shush replied:
Tony: May I put you on my speed-dial for the next time I need backup in an argument?
Maybe some day I can fly up there and we can get smashed together. (Everyone else reading this comment- don’t worry. I’m not a drunken layabout. Really.)
Amber: Thank you. It is, indeed, rare to have that connection without having to work and work to forge it. Some people try for their entire lives and still don’t find it with ease. I am sure God treasures you, and there are important things to learn from your life.
March 24, 2008 at 4:26 pm. Permalink.
Carol replied:
Shush and Tony: I feel Itommylovesmusic was directing his post to me. Maybe he wasn’t, but that’s the feeling I got. It’s ok. I get a lot of that from people.
March 24, 2008 at 7:52 pm. Permalink.
shush replied:
Carol: that very well may be, but he didn’t address it to you, and if he had I merely would have said, “You will know we are Christians by our LOVE, not the solid evidence we try to portray.”
Mary, mother of Christ, saw all of those things and the Bible says she “treasured them in her heart.” Mary obviously knew a side of God that no one else knew, and she didn’t go out in the street to proclaim his faithfulness, she simply treasured it.
Don’t make any man your judge, Carol. You and God just do your thing.
March 25, 2008 at 10:59 am. Permalink.
thatdudeyouknow replied:
Amen!
Just please note - the holy week is now, not back then. Jesus wasn’t a christian. He was a jew
April 23, 2008 at 3:22 pm. Permalink.
shush replied:
Hi thatdudeyouknow! I’ve seen you around on Amber’s blog. A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says “Jesus was a liberal Jew” just to remind people.
May 1, 2008 at 1:17 pm. Permalink.
M54 replied:
As you may know, I have just recently come to find your blog and I find it to be compelling for some reason.
Faith (one’s personal faith) is a varied comodity. Like the word love (some)people use the word faith a little too liberally. Or, more often, they demonstrate faith without thinking about it at all.
I believe the faith we “christians” claim to have is a faith that needs to be exercised more often. We need to work on our faith muscles. Through the years I have observed people working hard to make this or that happen and then say “God is so good, I knew He would show up”. Well no, you manipulated that situation until you got what you wanted.
Here is maybe a better description of exercising our faith muscles. At night when you go into a room and flip the light switch on do you have one ounce of doubt that the lights will come on? No, because you have relied on that light switch a thousand times to bring you what you need.
I am sure everyone knows what Holy Scripture says…”Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Perhaps a better translation for “hoped for” would be “believed for”.
Faith is the most personal thing a person can have. It is heald between one and One.
May 7, 2008 at 12:55 pm. Permalink.