Although my kids no longer live with their father, they have finally gotten a relationship with him. He would come home from working 40 hours at his job then 20 or so more working the farm a week. He was exhausted but he was missing out on having a relationship with his sons. When we seperated 18 months ago he realized what it was he was missing. The kids and he now have a great relationship. So maybe thay don’t have parents that are married, but they finally have a mom and a dad.

THe marraige was void of any true love or respect, but their father and I are getting along better now than we did for the 12 years we were living together. So although we are not a traditional family in any sense, we are better for the kids.

So a child being raised by gay parents who love and support each other can be a beautiful thing. I was a social worker for my state and saw many kids being bounced from home to home. Some homes were great and some homes just wanted the income from the state. A stable home no matter the orientaion is better for a child than being bounced around with no security.

wvhillcountry: so, so true. Harm can come in so many ways from so many places- at least any harm that could proverbially come from your children not having a father in their home will be balanced by their having such a loving and committed mother.

goldnsilver: It really is so horribly tragic. The amount of transient children in our country is something that needs to be addressed. It’s awful that you experienced it in your own family, and I just hurt for that girl.

My parents once fostered a girl who had been given up by her mother due to her not being able to care properly for her (because the mother had five kids to five different men). She was given to her father, who then molested by her. Then she was handed into the government system who relocated her constantly. By the time we fostered her it was too late.

I think if she had just been given to a couple who did not have children (usually gay couples) it would have worked out nicely, but everywhere she went the people already had kids and would constantly compare her level of maturity to their own.

But on the other hand they would have been hurt by seeing the “legal marriage” that I was in with their father. There was no true love or respect and I didn’t want my kids to think that was what marriage was about. So gay parents don’t hurt kids. Society that feels the right to judge will.

I have never understood the mentality that would rather have a child live a transient life in foster care, or other unstable situation (not bashing foster care, I’m sure many provide excellent care, but it isn’t permanent) than live life as a loved and cherished child of two people of the same sex.

There are plenty of other ways for parents to harm (even unintentionally) their children.

I don’t remember who said it, but I think there is a quote that says something about if you must err, err on the side of love. So IF (and that’s a big IF) allowing gay couples to adopt/in vitro, etc is an error, at least it is an error on the side of love.

Keltic: Seeing as most kids are abused by heterosexual relatives… *sighs* I just wish people would think more.

I know a lesbian couple who is raising a child. Jack is one of the most stable and well adjusted children I know. He doesn’t question who his parents are. He knows exactly. He is secure in his knowledge that he is loved. He leads a completely NORMAL life. He goes to soccer and music lessons. He has birthday parties and tons of friends. He has loving parents that put him first. Wow, what a concept.