Church… oh, Church…
I’m tired of attending church services on Sunday mornings. This is something I’ve struggled with through my teen years and into my adult life. The vast majority of sermons are a regurgitation of ideas I’ve already heard. The bother of getting up and going and sitting and not doing all of the other things I’d rather do irritates me. When I hear something that I flat out disagree with being preached from the pulpit I want to call out dissent. I enjoy music and thus generally enjoy contemporary “worship” services, but there are several songs whose lyrics I can’t sing because I find them either disingenuous or based off of archaic principals that simply aren’t applicable today.
I often write little notes to my husband saying things like, “gag me buzzwords” or “again? Really? AGAIN?”
Which goes back to me banging an old drum. Sunday mornings don’t aid in discipleship. They are formatted for the ease of “new” believers and “seekers”. They really hold little value for an older and committed member of the church. The reason I go? Because my friends do, my kids enjoy the children’s services, and it makes me feel like a part of a bigger whole.
I’m growing convinced that there needs to be a major change. The community of believers needs to grow beyond Sunday services. We need to minister to each other more fully. We need to get out of the walls and into our larger communities, into the arts and entertainment and industry and life and involvement- beyond our own bubble of culture and out there. In the real world.
The winds are changing for me.
I’m not sure what that means.
wep601 replied:
I was kind of thinking along these lines Sunday morning in church. I’ve been in church all my life… and I feel it is past due time for the winds of change to sweep through the church. Reminds me of an old Keith Green song: “Rushing wind, blow through this temple,
Blowing out the dust within,
Come and breathe your breath upon me,
I’ve been born again…”
May 6, 2008 at 5:33 pm. Permalink.
M54 replied:
You are correct in that (most) churches on Sunday mornings are more about making the “sheep” feel that they are loved. And of course if you geet the sheep feeling all warm and fuzzy that translates into $$$ (aka mamon). By staying in such a soft and frilly church because your children like it you are “training” them too.
I would encourage you to look beyond denominational boundries and look for a church that teaches the entire Bible.
It is much easier to remain faithful if you are with the faithful.
Running the Race,
M54
May 6, 2008 at 6:13 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
wep601: Thank you. I think that times WILL change.
M54: My church is far from “soft” and “frilly”, but it is a church that tends to have a lot of newer members and thus the sermons tend to focus on fundamentals of faith.
My children right now are 1 and 3, so being in a church that is capable of taking care of them IS necessary if I want to be involved. As they grow older their need for spiritual teaching will certainly be taken into account. Right now they are simply too young for that to factor in outside the home.
May 6, 2008 at 6:18 pm. Permalink.
M54 replied:
Well being one of those (especially men) who takes looking over the “lambs” seriously I certainly can whole heartedly agree that at the age of your children having them in an environment where you relax and feel they are well cared far is great.
Ultimately we (parents) will be the ones who have to answer to the way we “trained up our children”.
Additionally, I try to remember that sometimes I am in that church building not for me but for someone or something else.
I’ve been reading some of your posts today. I’m sure you know that.
One and three years old. Haha, you are just getting warmed up. Have fun, before you know it they will be graduating high school!
May 6, 2008 at 7:42 pm. Permalink.
DM replied:
Well, for what it’s worth, we came to this point in our family back in 1998-1999…it was my wife who broached the question…(At that time we still had all 4 children in the home, youngest being 9- oldest 17….I hear you using the literally the same words, reasons for our restlessness…it is spooky…to make a long story short, in the end, we plugged into a house church, thought at the time we called it a “cell church” cause we felt the group was going to grow/ birth new groups, etc…and stay loosely connected w/ each other….where each small group would gather together maybe once a month in a large group setting…..all of that stuff you long for does/ did happen for us in the smaller groups…and as far as the kids…they are part of the group…not tucked away in some nursery..they get to participate and watch the adults as well as interact w/ the adults as they open their lives….it might sound radical,but it works, and you have other adults impacting your children spiritually much more naturally than in your traditional setting…read your post Lindsey and couldn’t just sit here on the sidelines knowing what I know…not that you’re going to do the same as us…(I do think God leads His people to do different things…it’s not one size fits all…just know that for our family, this approach was a much welcome change..and I would NEVER go back…never
May 6, 2008 at 9:16 pm. Permalink.
Stephanie replied:
“I’m growing convinced that there needs to be a major change. The community of believers needs to grow beyond Sunday services. We need to minister to each other more fully. We need to get out of the walls and into our larger communities, into the arts and entertainment and industry and life and involvement- beyond our own bubble of culture and out there. In the real world.”
Yes! Yes! Yes! And an amen! I often think about this and I’m finding more people with this same desire and passion. The desire to go beyond those walls, to stop putting God in a box with the lid shut and to stop being in or taking care of all other business, except for our Father’s.
I think far too many will settle for much less, perhaps it’s easy for folks this way, perhaps they don’t know any other way.
But I too believe times are changing and will continue to change, with each of us, who are willing, contributing to those changes.
Peace.
May 7, 2008 at 5:21 am. Permalink.
goldnsilver replied:
Is it possible for you to make suggestions to the person who chooses the content of Sunday services? For instance new, more obscure passages etc.
Also, DM could you try to make your replies more legible? I gave up trying to read yours about four sentences in.
May 7, 2008 at 8:00 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
M54: They can’t possibly grow up too quickly, they can’t possibly stay this sweet and innocent long enough… parenthood is a trip, isn’t it?
DM: Thank you SO much for your comment. Oddly enough my husband and I are indeed coming to much the same place. I won’t blog about that until everything looks clearer, but your comment was certainly an affirmation of what I’m feeling.
Stephanie: Thank you!
Goldnsilver: Oh, it’s very possible, and I’ve been involved in service planning several times. My pastor is probably tired of hearing me grouse about 1 Corinthians 13 being overused every time she preaches about love. And as for your not understanding DM’s comment, are you unfamiliar with the terms and turn of phrase (like “home church”, “cell church”) or is it something else?
May 7, 2008 at 12:38 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
WHY DOES WORDPRESS KEEP TURNING ONE END OF A PARENTHESES INTO A WINK?
Sorry, it just annoys me to no end. Look, these are normal parentheses: ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( )
But in my comment above it turned the ) into a wink. Maybe I put a period and then the ) like : .)
Nope. It was just an ) and WordPress turned it into a wink.
WHY?
May 7, 2008 at 12:40 pm. Permalink.
M54 replied:
Regarding children being innocent… ahhhh the days of enjoying the deception of being “in charge”.
My wife and I just celebrated our 34 wedding anniversary on the 4th. We have three bio daughters 28yrs (married, one 3yr old son), 24 (widowed, one 15mos old son) and one nearly 19yr old. Additionally we are in the process of finalizing the adoption of a 4 & 6 yr old brother and sister.
It would be fare to say we have given our lives to raising children. lol
May 7, 2008 at 7:40 pm. Permalink.
M54 replied:
Goldnsilver… what concerns me when I hear about the love of God being taught is there is little if any taught about the justice of God.
Sin has consequences and to hear Sunday after Sunday how much God loves you is of little benefit. Sure God loves you but He may just allow you to get into a situation so deep and dark that you have no other place to turn but to Him.
May 7, 2008 at 7:44 pm. Permalink.
DM replied:
Goldnsilver- I reread my comment after you asked if I could be more legible-I’ll try.
Thanks for your input. Unfortunately, I write like I talk.
Lindsey, were you able to make sense out of what I posted? There is a lot of emotion in me regarding this topic and I think it just started to “gush” out.
May 8, 2008 at 12:32 am. Permalink.
Trypheana replied:
Ah – I hear you!
I’ve struggled with church going since I was in university, complete with panic attacks. The thing is, I still feel it’s hugely important for believers to connect with others believers, but you’re right – that discipleship doesn’t happen Sunday mornings and folks aren’t often willing to take the time in other parts of the week. (I guess I’m thinking of a set up similar to what DM is talking about, except with the meetings happening apart from Sunday morning service – that would be the groups staying ‘loosely connected together.’
We’ve been struggling with whether or not to stay with our current church and I’ve been thinking of posting about it and asking for thoughts – especially around what one’s commitment to a body should look like. If I ever do, I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts!
May 8, 2008 at 1:52 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
M54: I can’t think of a calling more noble than giving your life to raising kids! And as for the Love AND Justice of God, they must always go hand in hand. God is Just because he loves you- and where would the world be without Justice and Law?
DM: I understood you perfectly, truly, and your comment was well taken. I’ve thought a lot about joining a home church or smaller church plant, especially one where I’m more exercised as a writer and teacher. Don’t let the gift go fallow, right?
Tryphaena: That’s why I’m still in Church. If we don’t have each other we don’t have anything. I’m always reminded of this illustration my dad would do with a coal. Take the coal out of the fire, let it go black, and then put it back in. If you’re alone, you’re cold and useless. It’s together that we are the light of the world.
But the Bible also says that where there are two or more, the Spirit is with them. So there’s no reason it has to be a big gathering. A handful of people meeting together and holding each other accountable is just as useful, and in many ways it can also be far more. I like churches that offer home teaching groups (mine actually does and we lead one) because it offers the best of both worlds.
May 8, 2008 at 1:26 pm. Permalink.
Matthew replied:
I guess you’ll just have to leave the Hoosier state and move out here to beautiful Northern California… My church gathers Sunday evenings at 5pm and 7pm… come visit… you’ll love it!
Hugs,
Matty
May 8, 2008 at 5:57 pm. Permalink.
Jimmy Cracked-Corn replied:
Lindsey I’ve been feeling that same wind for 6 months now. I selfishly wish it would just stop blowing, but deep down I know it’s coming from the right place.
May 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
Matty: Oh, your church does sound wonderful. Time alone will tell where we end up in the next phase of your life. Northern California would be nice, though!
Jimmy: God is a good doctor. Sometimes he cuts us, but it’s always so that we heal.
May 8, 2008 at 6:50 pm. Permalink.