Being some things to some people
I tend to have a relaxed attitude about a lot of things that most Christians see as, well, impure. Things like foul language, alcohol, homosexuality, piercings, dyed hair, tattoos, “revealing” clothing, secular music, R rated movies, llamas. Okay, llamas have nothing to do with this post. But if you look at that list of things, you’ll see a lot of things that can mark someone as different from first blush. And none of those things really bother me all that much. In fact, I myself have a nose piercing and tattoo and pink streaks in my hair, which can give the other tattooed pierced and dyed people of the world a natural affinity to me.
Why point any of that out?
Because I have a mission. I’m not called as a missionary to Africa or Mexico or the uncontacted tribes of the Amazon, I’m called to the people right down the street from me, the people in the local pub on a Saturday night, the single mom in the park in the afternoon who just doesn’t feel comfortable playing with the other moms. I’m called to those people, and part of being called to them is being called to their culture.
In the Mennonite tradition there is a strong history of devoting time and money to missions, and with that history comes a plethora of stories about the cultures that people have been called to. Missionaries to Africa talk about learning how to wrap headdresses and men learning to be comfortable in skirts. Missionaries to Mexico talk about learning to be comfortable eating the food they are served so as to not offend their hostesses (even when this means accepting offers of drinks and food when not hungry or thirsty, as refusing hospitality is rude in a way that Americans simply don’t comprehend). Missionaries to rural China talk about learning to sleep on pallets on the dirt, and learning the intricacies of being a good houseguest that are also lost to most Americans. All of these stories share a common theme, and theme isn’t that Americans are often viewed as rude and uptight. That theme is that one must become other than one naturally is in order to witness to others. That is, that one becomes a part of the culture one is called to. You have to sit down at the same table, share the same manners, create mutual experiences, forge connections.
That calling doesn’t change when the person who you must love is just down your street. Here in America, Christianity has created for itself a bubble culture. A seperate culture. We’ve taken the “be in the world but not of it” line to such an extreme that we aren’t really in the world any more. I may be a part of a certain culture, but I am certainly not a product of it. Obviously not, because my primary vocation is as a disciple of Christ, not a marginalized ex-punk mama. I can be both things, actually. They are not necessarily contradictory. One must consider that Christ himself was radical, Christ himself was a rebel, Christ himself “spoke truth to power” and trashed the temple. The people on the sidelines were the people he cared the most about, spent the most time with, and loved so passionately. When I see dyed hair and heavily lined eyes and that dejected look of an outsider, my first thought is not “doesn’t he know that the way he dresses causes people to misjudge him?” It’s, “Oh, Jerusalem, how I have longed to gather you as a hen gathers her young…”
It’s that calling. My challenge to everyone reading this post is to think of who your people are. And ask yourself, are you like them? Do you share commonality with them? Are you a part of them? Are you living out the mission, or has it become just so many words to justify yourself?
It may be too much to ask you to be all things to all people. Just be some things to some.
Stephanie replied:
You go Lindsey! Amen!
June 7, 2008 at 4:35 am. Permalink.
amberfireinus replied:
Lindsey, I think this post is so interesting. I agree with you whole heartedly.
Whilst I don’t aspire to preach as you do or share the gospel, I do try to live the same principles. When in Rome…
People look at me and see a “Princess”. However, they would be surprised that I have gone and cleaned houses of the poor, and helped them get organized, helped a biker change his life and get himself financially responsible and successful, and enjoy things that people would never imagine of me.
Its all about staying “real”. Finding the “human connection” and the similarities between you and the next guy isn’t that hard if you try.
Alas, people have to be motivated and make EFFORT to do that.
I loved riding around on the back of my friend’s Harley in leathers. It was great fun!
June 7, 2008 at 2:23 pm. Permalink.
Red Wine Gums replied:
If you ever make it over to Ireland I would love to meet up and hang out. You sound exactly like my own little bunch of believers
June 7, 2008 at 4:41 pm. Permalink.
littletiger replied:
Lindsey – We must be sisters – I’ve been dying my hair since 1983 (my sophomore year in high school) and I have a tattoo on my back too. I also have the feeling of being a missionary to the world around me – but I try to do it by being a friend and not judging those around me. Christ is my example of who I really want to become.
June 7, 2008 at 10:09 pm. Permalink.
graceunbound replied:
Amen. As I mull over this post though, I wonder, do I first have to figure out who I am before I know who ‘my people’ are? Are my people just ordinary suburban housewives, or are they the people who walk just a little bit to the beat of their own drummer?
June 8, 2008 at 12:13 pm. Permalink.
ybtolerant replied:
I have changed to conform to what people want out of me – I have changed to better myself and I have changed out of spite.
One thing I notice is that I am just like everyone else- we all have one thing in common : We all want to be loved. I have realized that the only thing I can do to better myself and the world i live in is to be myself, and share the love and wonders of God. It doesn’t matter who we are, or how we live or how we relate to each other when we speak. It only matters of the intentions of our hearts.
I am cery grateful that I came across your blog because you seem to know what I am thinking and you write it out perfectly well.
Anyways-
Amber aka YBTolerant
June 8, 2008 at 8:23 pm. Permalink.
ybtolerant replied:
*very* grateful*
and yah I’m sure you know what I meant. I’ve been having problems with spelling lately LOL
June 8, 2008 at 8:24 pm. Permalink.
Seth replied:
Amen. The irony of the extreme view of “in the world but not of it” that you mention is that the ENTIRE CHRISTIAN RELIGION is based on the principle of becoming like those to whom you are sent. That’s exactly what Jesus was: God becoming human to reach the humans.
I like your thoughts. Like St. Frank of Assisi says, “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words only when necessary.” The best way to evangelize is simply to live out God’s love for others to experience first hand through you. That really can’t be done unless you are truly “in the world,” meeting people where they are and showing by example that their way of life is good enough for God. We are not “of the world” because we do not have the selfish aims of the world in mind when we do this work, but rather God’s selfless aims.
June 9, 2008 at 3:11 am. Permalink.
M54 replied:
Lindsey, many of the things you mention in your opening paragraph are specifically mentioned in Holy Scripture. I don’t mean the piercings or coloring hair but rather course talk, and anything we (as Christians) may do that (may)causes our brothers/sisters to “stumble”. Anytning, even if it is not a sin.
Lindsey writes: “You have to sit down at the same table, share the same manners, create mutual experiences, forge connections.”
While that may be “partially” true, how will they (the “unsaved”) see that you are a true Christian? I mean if someone goes to the bar, drinks with them, drops the “F” bomb in conversation and dresses provocatively then sneeks out back to “burn one”… how in the world is that Christ-like? I mean that is their culture. Or are we only to choose A, B, & C but know that the rest of the alphabet is too bad. It is quite a slippery slope when we set the standard instead of Him.
I think Jesus (Himself) said, (paraphrase) speak the Truth to them. If they don’t like it, shake the dust from your sandles and move on. He said everyone would have the opportunity to hear the Gosple. It is up to them to accept or reject it.
Linsdsey wrote: “Here in America, Christianity has created for itself a bubble culture.”
While I agree that the Western Church has created for itself a “bubble culture.” I more firmely believe that the bigger problem are those who CLAiM to be Christian when, in fact, they are NOT. That crazy so called Westboro Baptist Church is a perfect example. (I think that’s the name)
Seth said: “That really can’t be done unless you are truly “in the world,” meeting people where they are and showing by example that their way of life is good enough for God.”
Ummmm…. have you ever read (in red) “Go and sin no more.”?
I don’t want to seem confrontational but my goodness Jesus, the Christ, clearly reached out to sinners but He NEVER conformed to their ways. He never tried to look like, talk like or hang out where they hung out.
His “gig” was that His relationship was so close with the Father that He had the Power to PERFORM MIRACLES! Look at the first Disciples! Heck when Peter would walk the streets HIS SHADOW HEALED PEOPLE!! Now that is a true disciple. I mean if someone could heal the blind, cure cancer and raise the dead because they were so devoted to their relationship with the Father of all creation, how long would it take for people to start wanting to have a piece of what that person had? Instead we rely on what we believe it will take for “the fallen” to allow us to pull up a bar stoll next to them.
How sad.
June 9, 2008 at 6:25 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
So, I’ve like totally neglected to respond to everyone’s comments on this post.
Sorry.
I do appreciate everyone’s comments though, I really do. And M54, sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. Coarse language is mentioned in the Bible many times, but it’s hard to say exactly what it is that would be equivalent language now. My grandmother feels that saying “crap” and “shoot” is vulgar, but that language is considered laughable by the standards of today’s youth. Language is something very fluid.
As for dressing provocatively, well, I agree with you there. And I don’t smoke as I believe it is destructive and would never drink to drunkenness as that is also destructive- but the Bible DOES say that Christ ate with the sinners. He did go where they were.
I’m not saying that Christians ought to become a product of the cultures they reach out to, but in cases where things become a barrier to ministering to people I think we should at the very least soberly reflect on how we are seen and what we can do to make other people comfortable with us. I don’t think that the fact I have pink streaks in my hair or wear torn jeans is sinful, and while I do have a tattoo (the latin word for Mercy) and a nose ring (something that is often mentioned in the OT as a gift for a beloved to celebrate her beauty) I also don’t think those things are inherently sinful. I do physically look like a lot of the people I minister to.
You’ll have to take my word for the fact that I don’t act like them. I am not rude or disrespectful, I don’t deliberately try to offend people, I’m not outrightly confrontational. I show in my way of carrying myself and relating to people that there is a better way, and I show it most of all through my sincere faith in and love for Christ.
June 11, 2008 at 3:14 am. Permalink.
Seth replied:
When talking about vulgar language, I think it is interesting to point out that Philippians 3:8, the Greek word translated “rubbish” is actually more acurately translated as “shit,” since it is a vulgar word in New Testament Greek which refers to excrement.
M54, you do have a point. In order for this type of evangelism to work, the evangelist must be somehow identified as Christian. I do not think that being like the people one is witnessing to necessarily means, “[going] to the bar, drinks with them, drops the “F” bomb in conversation and dresses provocatively then sneeks out back to “burn one”…” One can be true to his or her own moral standards and still convey a message to those around him or her that those sorts of things that they do does not make them less of a person in the evangelist’s eyes. If you want to speak to people at the bar, though, it means going to the bar. All it takes sometimes is being willing to say, “Yes, I am a Christian” and nothing more… often this opens up a way for the person at the bar to say, “Hey, maybe these Christians aren’t the prudish hypocritical snobs I thought they all were.” Sometimes more needs to be said, but not always. I have found in my own life that merely saying that I am Christian when I am asked without saying anything else often gets people to start talking about religion and opening up to hear me when I talk about mine — no proselytizing required.
You say that Jesus never “tried to look like, talk like or hang out where they hung out.” This is not correct. Jesus did talk like them, in Aramaic, using images and words that the people could understand. He spoke their language, both literally and metaphorically. He did look like them; he was a lower-class carpenter and dressed like the people around him would have. It is more or less the equivalent of wearing a t-shirt and jeans today. He did hang out where they hung out. He ate at the houses of tax-collectors and sinners, he frequented the fishing docs, he spent time in Galilee and Samaria, where most good Jews tried not to go. You seem to be missing the point.
Lindsey, I think you have it. Christians are not called to become a product of the culture we are in. This would be being “of the world.” However, we must be “in the world,” able to relate to people who are products of that culture. The main difference is that instead of chasing after what the world chases after (e.g. money, success, fame, large numbers of people converted), we instead chase after what God wants us to (e.g. love, respect, dignity, equality). When we witness to people, it is not to convert them and add another name to the list of the “saved,” it is to honor them as human beings and show them love by saying to them, “as my fellow human, I respect you and I want you to know this good news that has helped me, so that hopefully you can feel this good as well.”
When a person does “physically look like a lot of the people I minister to,” it takes down a boundary between the witness and the recipient, one that might make the other person less receptive to what the minister has to say. That’s what being “in the world but not of the world” is about.
June 11, 2008 at 4:14 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
Seth, Thank you. Because my stating that I have a “relaxed attitude” about certain things does not mean that I myself do not care about their moral consequence. I live in a fairly conservative area with a high population of Amish, conservative Mennonite and Mennonites. Around here babydoll t-shirts and fitted jeans are sometimes seen as immodest dress. My saying I have a relaxed attitude about clothing simply means that I don’t make judgment calls about people based off of what they wear.
While I do respect the Bible as the final authority and our best hope of understanding God, I also am realistic about the fact that the culture we live in now is fundamentally different than the one to which Christ was ministering. We have to understand that culture and the way in which Christ was perceived in order to understand if we are being Christ-like.
And the Bible is pretty clear- Christ used language that would have been highly offensive to his listeners (like calling religious leaders white-washed tombs). He went and ate out the houses of tax collectors and sinners. He, a Jewish man, talked alone with a Samaritan woman who was known as a slut. What sort of signals would that send? I doubt he wore nice clothes, as he was poor and made poorer by the fact he wasn’t practicing his trade. I doubt his personal hygiene was to that high of a standard, as he traveled all day on dirt roads. He preached from places like the docks and hills and fields (province of the poor) as well as the temple (province of the “holy”). Jesus spent his entire life walking the line between the equivalent of our churched and our outcasts, and I believe we have to do the same.
Yikes.
I’m running at the mouth.
I’ll just have to write another post on this one, I think.
June 11, 2008 at 11:31 am. Permalink.
M54 replied:
Seth: I guess we will have to agree to disagree. Here is my (current) understanding regarding Jesus “hangins out” with the sinners. Jesus always had a purpose in what He did. He didn’t just happen down to the fishing docks or the shore. I believe he went to those places to call “regular men” into descipleship. He did this in order to show future generations that we don’t need to be “all that” to qualify to be a true discile. Of course he ate with tax collectors and sinners but remember, He always invited Himself. I believe He was accepted by them because it was selfserving (for the tax collectors/sinners) not because he looked likethem or “spoke their language”. They were hoping to “get a piece of Him”.
Jesus may have been seen as a regular guy but remember he was invited to some of the best parties too! Remember where he performed His first miracle. A wedding (big party in those days).
June 12, 2008 at 7:55 pm. Permalink.
Seth replied:
M54, I agree with your sentiments. Jesus did what he did and went where he went with a purpose; I think a more accurate description than calling disciples, however, would be to proclaim the dominion of heaven/dominion of God (depending on whether you’re reading Matthew or Luke). This, of course, makes disciples, and so the two are very closely related.
I don’t know that Jesus would have had the same success with the common folks, though, if he came dressed like a Pharisee or an upper-class, clean-cut kind of guy. Maybe they didn’t flock to him because he looked like them, but it certainly helped keep them from avoiding him.
I think the bottom line, though, is that because Jesus himself was like the common person in order to reach the common person means that we should not be afraid of being like the common person either. It’s okay to hang out in bars and have piercings (if that’s what you like), but, again, preach the gospel at all times. To somebody who has piercings and tattoos, Christianity is suddenly a whole lot less condeming to you if you know Christians with piercings and tattoos, especially when you see them doing the good things that they preach.
When all people see of Christians are prudish, uptight people who don’t seem to have any “fun” (as they might see it), what incentive is there to be Christian, or to even listen to what they have to say?
June 16, 2008 at 5:48 pm. Permalink.