Ladies:  Your man doesn’t know what you want.  No, really, he doesn’t have a clue.  He doesn’t know that you want Italian for dinner.  He doesn’t know that you’ve been wanting that new book that just got released.  He doesn’t know that you’d rather see the latest slap-stick comedy than that new romance movie with what’s-her-name.  He has no clue that it’s been months since he romanced you in the bedroom and made it all about you and your pleasure.  Yes, I know, he was there too and he OUGHT to know.  I just thought that I’d better tell you that he doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know that he should buy you lingerie.  He doesn’t know that the brand of candy he brings home for you isn’t your favorite.  He doesn’t know any of these things: but, here’s the clincher- he wants to.  He wants to take you out to your favorite restaurant and surprise you with all the little things you’ve been desiring and give you night after night of incredible mind blowing sex, but he can’t read your mind.  If he could, he would, and he’d be the man you want him to be.  But he can’t, so he won’t, and if you keep desiring without opening your mouth you will only feel ignored and grow to resent him.

This is the thing.  And it’s a good thing, too!  You have the power to change it all.  All you need to do is learn to talk to him about the things you want.  Learn to say, “I’ve been craving Italian.”  Learn to say, “I’d rather have a Snickers Bar.”  Learn to say, “It’s been months since you’ve [done that thing] to my [particular body part] and I want you to drive me wild.”  Learn to talk to him, and he will learn to listen.  And he will gladly give in to your demands because trust me, girl, he chose you and part of the reason he did that is because he wants to make you happy.  The problem with that is that one person’s happiness always seems to depend on the actions of both, and your silence becomes a stumbling block to your own fulfillment.

I understand.  We, as girls, don’t like to sound petty.  We don’t like to whine.  We don’t like to appear demanding.  We don’t like to leave our men with the impression that they never please us.  But because of our fear we trap ourselves in cycles of dissatisfaction that only make things worse.  So learn to talk to him.  Learn to choose the moments that matter most.  Take the tiniest steps towards gaining a voice in your relationship.  Most of all, realize that the same is true in reverse.  You probably don’t know what he wants, either. You may be bringing home the wrong candy and falling into a rut that leaves him craving, too.  So tell him to talk to you.  Trade favors.  Say, “I want lingerie- but first, what can I do for you?”

It’s like magic.  Both people communicating, both satisfied.  I think the only thing better than getting one’s own way is knowing that you’re giving as well as you get.  And that is what a relationship is meant to be like.