Meme: Guilty Pleasures
Normally I avoid the “getting to know you” memes, especially on this blog. But I thought that THIS one might make for a bit of enlightening you all about what I am really like.
- “passing notes” during sermons. These notes have included such gems as- “five buzzwords in ten minutes: a new record?”; “If one more person says relational I’m standing up and screaming my head off” (followed quickly by “never mind whatever I’m sleepy”); “Do you feel like you’re in fifth grade? I feel like I’m in fifth grade.”; and my all time favorite: “I WANT OUT I WANT OUT I WANT OUT!” [I also take real, valid, intellectual notes. But that isn't much of a "guilty pleasure". And yes, I've made people snicker. So?]
- Trying to make my waiters laugh. I don’t know why this is. It’s compulsive. But you know how a good waiter tries to make you laugh and loosen you up? I do that to waiters. And if they look stressed, I tell them to turn it off and just get through. It’s a hard job. I really feel bad for them. (and YES, I know they are paid to take care of me- but most people treat waiters like dog poo.) I add this to the “guilty pleasures”, because it has included parking the car to WALK through the drive through, ordering in pig latin, standing up and literally acting out scenes from movies, and hiding under my chair.
- Chit-chatting with telemarketers. You know how they’ll say, “how’s your day been?”, well, I ask it in return, and chit-chat. I’m not the kind of person to pretend a relative has died or something, but there have been times that I’ve complained for fifteen minutes about my son having diarrhea before hanging up on particularly pushy and annoying guys.
- Anything with chocolate. Which isn’t surprising, I suppose, but I especially love chili-chocolates. Mmm… I would say something here about mixing husbands and chocolates, but I rarely feel guilty about that.
- Attractive women. Not that I fantasize, or let my mind go where it shouldn’t, but there is something fascinating about women. The way they move, the way they talk, the way they look you in the eye… And I have to admit, if I am ever alone with Angelina Jolie I WILL do EVERYTHING in my power to make out with her. My God! I feel completely heterosexual until I see her. Wow.
- Attractive men- I like them tall, dark, and gloomy. With nice arms, and butt, and chest. Fortunately my husband is possessed of all of these qualities, so he is forced to deal with the constant throwing myself on him sparsely clothed. Odd, though, he rarely seems to mind.
- Writing. Obviously writing this blog is a pleasure, but not guilty. No, the guilt comes in when I’m writing things like fantasy and science fiction and vampires and zombies and all of the things that I was told, growing up, were “doors for the devil to walk through”. As soon as I discovered Tolkien and CS Lewis I discovered this whole universe of creativity that I absolutely, positively, in all ways HAD to move into. So I have. And I find myself sacrificing sleep and sanity to wrap myself in my own imagination, which is like eighty percent pleasure and twenty percent guilt. Mostly because I feel like I ought to have grown up more by now- but writing for me is like breathing. I HAVE TO. (Just maybe not zombie romances… I mean, what does that make me?)
So there you go, my darling regular readers. This girl is still just a girl, just a bit of a quirky and sometimes surprisingly strange one. (And YES, I really did hide under my chair at a restaurant once. And the waiter thought it was hilarious when I held up my hand for my order. Mission accomplished.)
Sharing the Faith
John 13:35
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Those are Jesus’s very own words. And I don’t think that there is any more concise statement of what Christianity should look like to be found anywhere. How should people know that we are Christians? By our love, love, love, as the old campfire song says. My brothers and I used to cough into our hands and say “t-shirts, t-shirts, t-shirts” during the chorus, as at Bible camp it seemed that wearing a loudly “Christian” t-shirt was a requirement if you wanted to be taken seriously. And now, fifteen years later and a whole lot of life experience later, there are still moments where I see church groups “Evangelizing” out around town, all wearing matching loudly biblical t-shirts, and I catch myself singing that old tune again.
Sometimes I sing it “they shall know we are Christians by our pamphlets, yes, they shall know we are Christians by our pamphlets, pamphlets, pamphlets…”
Then there are the questions, asked by other Christians, meant to hold us accountable to our need to “evangelize”. Questions like, “when was the last time you shared the gospel?” or “when was the last time you witnessed for Christ to your neighbors?” When asked those questions I generally falteringly reply that I don’t really make a point of doing such things. I try to live my witness and live my gospel daily, in my temperance and temperament and willingness to share and care for others, even if it’s something as simple as letting a little old lady struggling with her groceries to cut in line. It’s not the moments where we blindside someone with gospel tracts, shouted slogans and pictures of mutilated fetuses that will win hearts and minds to the Lord.
It’s our love, love, love. We are to be known not for our huge congregations, our bulging coffers, our well-worded slogans, our catchy worship tunes, our contemporary language, our well-reviewed media, our “40 days” of this and “Month-Long Focus” on that and “NEW SERMON SERIES!” whatever and horribly archaic sayings on our letterboards.
And for the love of all that is holy, we are NOT to be known for our bumper stickers! (Especially as we are cutting people off in the fast lane.)
What did Jesus say? Seriously, WHAT DID HE SAY? There are times that I want to stand on the rooftop and scream it. What do the gospels REALLY SAY? I’ve read them so many times, and every time I am struck by how Jesus first demonstrated tolerance and compassion, and then required obedience. He never said “obey or burn”. Certainly we must take the parables into account, but in every case where people were left outside in the streets where there is great wailing and gnashing of teeth, it was because they themselves brought their judgment down upon their own heads.
Which is slightly different than a gay couple innocently walking into Wal-Mart, or a teary-eyed desperate teen going to get an abortion because she feels lost. Imagine, those two examples- imagine how they feel when literature is abruptly thrown in their faces. Imagine, instead, that someone took the time to introduce themselves, speak compassionately, maybe buy them a soda, maybe take the time to hear what these passing strangers have to say.
Imagine instead of saying, “I have a message for you [FROM GOD]“, if we said, “how can I help you have a better day?”
Because, honestly, when we beat people upside the head with the Bible that’s not “sharing our faith”, that’s emotional assault. Sharing our faith is what we do, every day, without thinking about it. And a sad amount of the time it’s not our faith we’re actually sharing- it’s our lack of it.
