I can remember a conversation once where someone was trying to explain to me just how awful homosexuality was.  He said something about sexual depravity.  I responded, “what if a homosexual never had sex?”

He said, “then what would be the point of them?”

I don’t remember my immediate response, but I was baffled.  The conversation continued with the man in question talking about how he can’t see why homosexuals don’t realize how sexually depraved they are, since the thought of a man putting his man-parts anywhere near this guy’s butt made this guy want to puke.  To fight through all of that “negative energy” around that sort of sexual act and do it anyway, this guy said, just proved how depraved gay men must be.  Because everyone else knows how gross it is.

I really was baffled by what to say.  There were a lot of things I could have.  I could have stated that a lot of heterosexuals also enjoy things that would probably make his skin crawl, but I was fairly sure the kneejerk response would be that all of those things were also sexually depraved- as his measuring rod for how depraved any one thing was seemed to be how gross it made him feel.  I could have cleverly stated that the fact he had no interest in homosexual intercourse was kind of the point, seeing as he was not homosexual, and gay men probably found the thought of putting their male appendages near a female’s sexy bits equally disgusting- but I didn’t say that either.

I shrugged, and said, “gay also means happy.”

The man in question looked at me as if I was rather odd (which I must confess to being) and asked me why I would even say that.

“Anything more rational to say eludes me,” I replied.

“Why?” He said.

“Because this conversation is irrational.”  I think my pointing that out really offended him.  I honestly could have done it with more delicacy.  I’m just bothered by the fact that there’s this whole contingency of the population that judge not based off of rational arguments, not based off of biblical study, not based off of compassion or mercy, but based off of what they perceive must be true because they get the willies.  Here’s the thing:  let’s imagine for a moment that I hate Jell-O.  I hate the texture of it in my mouth.  I hate how it quivers all the time, as if it’s alive.  I hate how slippery it is and how hard it is to cut it with a spoon.  Let’s imagine that based off of the fact I think Jell-O is unnatural, I just decide to make a law saying that Jell-O is bad. How many kids lunches would I be destroying based off of personal preference?

You may respond, “that’s not an equal argument, it’s totally irrational.”  Well, that’s how I feel about the “It’s just gross” argument.  As kids we think that all sex is equally gross.  The fact that our parents have sex makes us want to vomit.  I know some adults who still feel the same way when they think about their parents having sex.  Does that mean that once someone has the sufficient number of kids, they should cease sexual activities?  I hope not.

You could say that this icky feeling is because you are in tune with God, who also feels that it’s icky.   My question then becomes- do you get this feeling when someone lies?  When they are cruel?  Does the thought of petty theft make you want to puke?  So are you only in tune with God about homosexual intercourse, or is he communicating with you on this level constantly?  You could say it goes against nature- that’s why it’s icky.  Hm…  The natural order argument does have a certain aesthetic- but one can logically argue that homosexuality plays an important role in the natural order of human society.  By homosexuals taking themselves out of the breeding order, they can help to quell population growth.  They also can adopt unwanted children and generally just be really helpful.  So while perhaps it goes against the natural order of “insert a into b and make a baby!”, there is still a perfectly rational argument for them naturally existing.

Not to mention the fact that we are lightyears away from understanding how human sexuality actually works. Well, the counterargument to that point inevitably goes- a Christian can understand by simply asking God.

Do you think I haven’t?  Do you think that I would dare to write this post without ever once praying and asking God if I may be coming out on the wrong side of this issue?  I’ve yet to hear God respond to me very clearly- he doesn’t really use words for the average occassion…  but I look at the swath of destruction that the Church as a whole body has left behind…  I look at the teenage kids crying and begging God to fix their sexuality, I look at the suicide rate and skyrocketing depression and all of the people left on the sidelines feeling as if their lives have been destroyed over something they honestly cannot control…

And I know one thing.  Whether or not homosexuality goes against God’s plan for people, the way we as a Church handle it is still wrong.

Questions, comments, cookies?  Put ‘em in the comments.