“But if someone you love is living in Sin, shouldn’t you hold them accountable?”

This argument is most often used against homosexuals- but it applies to all kind of sins.  My answer to the above question is both yes, and no.  Yes- if someone you love is living in sin, it should matter to you.  And you should talk to them about your concerns.  But you should never do it in a “you must change or ELSE” tone, you should do it in an “I worry what the consequences of this could be for you because I love you” tone, and then you should let go.

Let GO, and trust God to do the rest.

Let’s look at this simply:

• All sin goes contrary to God’s desires for our lives.  God wishes to move us into a less sinful state.
• If someone loves God and wishes to have a relationship with God, and they open their heart towards God they will hear God speaking to them.
• If God is speaking to someone who is in a sinful state, God will inevitably pull them towards a less sinful state so they can know him more fully.

Thus, if God is desirous of someone leaving a homosexual lifestyle, and this person is devoted towards God and allowing themselves to be pulled by him, eventually he WILL speak to them about their lifestyle.  By this point I would assume that you, reader, if you are concerned about their choices, will have already told them your opinion.

At this point they can choose to have you be the one to hold them accountable.  And at this point there may be real, solid consequences for them choosing to remain in something which God has asked them to leave.

But it can’t go the other way.  Conviction HAS to come from God, it can’t come from people.  Let me tell you a story.  For most of my marriage there was a behavior pattern towards me from my husband that I felt was sinful.  And for most of my marriage (six years) I would confront my husband, he would get defensive, and we’d eventually start arguing about who was the better spouse.  Stalemate.  Useless.  About a year ago I started to feel convicted about my judgmental attitude towards my spouse.  Now, let’s be clear, this pattern in his behavior towards me was ABSOLUTELY wrong and ABSOLUTELY contrary to what God wanted towards our marriage, but God VERY clearly told me to shut up about it and to work on my own heart.  So I did.  And after several months of struggling and me holding my tongue, God convicted my husband.

God was never going to let me get away with doing his job.  It may have been right for me to say, “I’m concerned about the consequences this may have on our marriage”, but it was absolutely wrong for me to try to force my husband to change.  But when God brought the conviction, change happened almost instantly.

That’s why we need to trust God.  Should we let people know when we are concerned for them?  Absolutely.  But we should absolutely not hand out ultimatums unless it is about a behavior that someone has asked us to help them change, or we are in a position of authority where it is our responsibility to protect the body at large.

Trust God.

Offer the situation up to him.

Pray for the body of believers.

Exhort what is good.

Guard your own hearts.

This is the path to righteousness.