un-Dividing God’s House
My church spent some time going through the entire book of Ephesians together, as a body. We would sit around tables in small groups and discuss each verse individually, with a few group exercises we would complete and then share the results of with the entire congregation.
It was an interesting experiment.
One of the small group exercises was to list things that tend to divide the church- little cracks that the “enemy” or our own selfishness can use to alienate others.
The lists all looked something like:
- Income
- Jobs
- Skin color
- Ethnic background
- American Cultural background (city boy, country girl, California hippie)
- Political Party
- Stay at home mom
- Working away from home mom
- Homeschooling
- Religious upbringing
- Clothing choices
- choice of Biblical translation
- What you are “in to”- sports, music, computers, etc
- Educational background
- Accent
- Sexual background (has had sexual partners outside of marriage prior to converting, “spoiled goods”)
Does this list seem to be missing something? My own personal list had “sexual orientation”, but in the larger body it wasn’t mentioned. I don’t know if it’s because people would be too embarrassed to say something- perhaps. The woman who mentioned sexual background blushed, and several of the people around her blushed. As if there were need to be embarrassed about bringing up such a topic in the context of learning to look PAST differences between people and embrace everyone in Christ!
We were all ordered to cross out everything on our lists and write, “ONE IN CHRIST” across the entire thing.
I didn’t cross out sexual orientation. I didn’t feel like the job was done yet. I also didn’t cross out religious background, because that one isn’t done either. In fact, I crossed out very few of my own, because I just felt like despite the unifying and “we’re all in this together” feel that crossing items out was supposed to invoke, I felt like it was an empty gesture.
I’ll cross my own out with my actions, not my pen.
Amber replied:
Lindsey… I am going to give this some serious thought. Because something is nagging in my head that there are things missing. Ill come back to you.
October 6, 2008 at 4:58 pm. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
Like Amber, I have a nagging sense of something (maybe many “somethings”) missing from that list. Let me cogitate a while and get back to you…
October 6, 2008 at 5:01 pm. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
OK, here’s three:
1. age
2. Marital status or lack thereof
3. “American cultural background” – is everyone supposed to be from the US?! And even if they are, isn’t this being presented as a bunch of stereotypes? (i.e., California = surfer, hippie; Southern = well, you fill in the blanks!…)
October 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
Amber: Oh, I’m sure there are more. Those were just the common ones.
E2tc: You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Although to clarify the American Cultural background, that was brought up AFTER ethnic background, when someone said, “but even if you’re from the ‘right’ country but the ‘wrong’ place in it, people treat you like a stereotype.”
October 6, 2008 at 5:19 pm. Permalink.
faemom replied:
I’m curious. Was there a follow-up discussion or exercise about how people can move past these?
From my experience, these stereotypes are bred into people, and it’s SO hard to weed them out. I feel lucky that my family was pretty open minded, and I remember the shock I had when I met my first racist. It’s sad that we don’t move past these things as a people.
I am glad to hear that your church is trying to make in roads. And I like your last statement about crossing things off your list with your actions. You are always so good at saying what needs to be said.
October 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm. Permalink.
zeemanb replied:
Rabble-rouser, lol! Great illustrative story. I would have thrown “young earth theory” in there as the knockout punch…..but I’m evil. (And no, I definitely do not believe all churchgoers think that the earth is 6000 years old and dinosaurs may have been on the ark….it’s just fun to think about.)
In all seriousness, I have seen that deer in the headlights moment when you bring up something that follows the logical path of an exercise such as this, and the key for me (and I am only speaking for me) was to get past the humongous chip on my shoulder about it because I have a tendency to gloss over loving my brethren when I’m telling them who they should love….. still fun stuff though.
October 6, 2008 at 8:55 pm. Permalink.
lesbiansaidwhat replied:
Reputation.
C.
October 7, 2008 at 12:40 am. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
D’oh – how could I have forgotten this one?
* Physical condition * (Especially for those who are disabled in any way, whether temporary or permanent.)
* Person is either widowed or divorced. *
October 7, 2008 at 3:15 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
faemom: The whole series was about defining who we are as a church and living in community with each other- I can’t say if there were particular exercises because I spend 3/4 of my Sundays supervising the toddler room, so I may have missed them.
zeemanb: Oh, good Lord, I don’t think ANYONE would have been brave enough to bring up doctrinal differences. I’ve had to work to learn not to sound condemnatory when talking about church ethics. It’s not exactly easy.
lesbiansaidwhat: oh so true. Thanks for commenting!
e2tc: Two very, very good ones. I know (of) a woman who was ostracized after leaving an abusive husband. It’s so sad.
October 7, 2008 at 4:38 pm. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
I know (of) a woman who was ostracized after leaving an abusive husband.
And not only is this sad, it’s just plain WRONG. (I’m not yelling, just being emphatic.)
The last church I belonged to has (to the best of my knowledge) still not installed an elevator so that people using canes, walkers, wheelchairs (etc.) can get into the sanctuary, which is on the 2nd floor. I mean, ???? They were even relieved that they got past code inspection without having to do it. That made me angry at the time, and my feelings on their attitude haven’t changed.
October 7, 2008 at 11:13 pm. Permalink.