Why do gay people exist?
“So,” he said, “they got together all kinds of experts, from anthropologists to spiritualists, and no one seemed to have a reason for why homosexuality would exist.”
I thought about that for a minute before replying, “so?”
This took him off guard, “what did you say?”
“So.” I shrugged, “Why do we have to know the reason? I don’t think we SHOULD be able to take the whole of human experience and boil it down to cause and effect.”
I meant what I said. I don’t think there has to be a quantifiable reason for anyone’s sexuality to be whatever it is. And even if you can pinpoint a reason, that doesn’t mean that sexuality, through that knowledge, becomes more malleable or understandable. It took me numerous years to understand that I withdrew from intimate contact because I was still afraid of making myself vulnerable due to sexual abuse, and even after I understood the reason I still couldn’t make myself desire a relationship with a man. Later in the above quoted conversation, the man I was talking to pointed out that a great deal of gay people he knew had been sexually abused as children, and he found that interesting.
Interesting, yes, but not necessarily meaningful. Interest doesn’t always imbue meaning, and meaningful things are often boring as heck.
Yet there is that nagging thought, “why isn’t sexuality predictable? Moldable? Why is it so [censored] DIFFICULT?”
And every time I ask myself that, I still answer, “so?”
The idea that human sexuality needs explanation implies, to me, that it needs defending. I won’t stoop to that. God allows our sexuality to manifest itself in so many maddening, entrancing, and exasperating ways because there is a lesson to be learned from it- to be learned from it both done “right” and done “wrong”.
What matters most isn’t WHY gay people exist or WHY abused girls react the way they do or WHY husbands and wives dance the dance of Christ and Church or why ANYTHING works the way it does. What matters most is that God loves us, passionately, he loves our lives and he loves us when we make good and bad choices and he is heavily invested in humanity in all of it’s beauty and brokenness. Note that I’m not saying knowledge doesn’t matter, and that through studying the human psyche our compassion and understanding may not grow by leaps and bounds. Knowledge is invaluable! We simply can’t afford to wait on that knowledge to make a decision about how we should act today.
What matters most, friend, is not your reason for being gay.
It is you being a child whom God loves, and the fact that as a Christian I am indebted to model that love.
February 11, 2009. Tags: belief, christ, christian, christianity, church, conversation, faith, gay, God, homosexual, Jesus, love, sex, sexuality, stories. Christianity, Relationships, Religion, homosexuality.
Otto Mann replied:
Gay people are on Earth to improve the world’s fashion sense.
February 11, 2009 at 4:51 pm. Permalink.
Stephanie replied:
Lindsey-
“God loves us, passionately, he loves our lives and he loves us when we make good and bad choices and he is heavily invested in humanity in all of it’s beauty and brokenness.”
Wow. That right there about sums it all up and it’s that simple.
Otto- I don’t know, I don’t really consider myself to have much of a fashion sense. lol
February 11, 2009 at 6:11 pm. Permalink.
pinnythewu replied:
I find it an interesting topic, I honestly don’t believe that being gay is a choice or a ‘condition’ created by trauma or mental illness. I believe it is purely part of a persons make up. Take a famous family in my country, the Topp Twins. While they’re incredible annoying because they yodel, these twins are both lesbians. Their brothers are all gay. Their parents are obviously straight, but you tell me that thats not genetic?! This definately wasn’t something created in their psyche by outside forces. Unusally enough, they grew up in a small (rednecky) farming community and joke about the fact that there must of been something in the water because so many kids they grew up with in the area were gay!
Also, in recent years, scientists have proved that the brain of a gay male, bares more resemblance chemically to the brain of a straight female than that of a straight male. That certainly doesn’t sound like choice to me.
February 11, 2009 at 7:58 pm. Permalink.
Rickr0ll replied:
“Why do gay people exist?” That’s easy- so I have a date lol. Girls are too much effort- they are so Used to being sexual objects and desirable commodities, it makes life difficult for those of us who want to talk to people on an even playing field! Not that women Want to be treated like prizes, but ironically, Not “being a trophy” makes you that person. It’s a dilemma i tell you!
And sexuality Is malleable- but it isn’t a choice whether or not we can change it. I think there are a lot of factors in homosexuality, none of which can be discounted. Homoerotic tendencies certainly exist in almost Everyone- likely as a way to form social cohesion- Samurai in Japan, The Greeks and Romans, there was homosexuality in every culture in antiquity and now as well.
The Brain size differences are very small and in in the realm of possible error. I don’t want to believe gays are different at all, except perhaps genetically. Though i have heard that they are left-brained, as are most nonconformists/artists/geniuses. That i think is something significant. Human sexuality is very bizarre indeed. But human sexuality is deeply ingrained in our society- probably the more since it is such an inflammatory issue.
Those fag-haters are disgusting people aren’t they? Why pick on someone who genetically speaking won’t impact society- it makes NO sense! And why worry about that when we have a Population Crisis!
It’s almost like no one wants to be a responsible human being and just try to live in a cosmopolitan, pluralistic society. It’s frustrating to think what perversions these people are making to the Fathers of this country.
/Rant
February 12, 2009 at 7:03 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
*lol* @”fashion sense”.
Stephanie: thanks!
pinnythewu: I’d never heard of the Topp Twins before, but that’s really interesting. Identical twins, also both gay. That does seems more than just coincidental, doesn’t it?
Rickroll: I like that you said that sexuality is malleable, but not by us. That’s so true. There’s no controlling it, there’s no changing people or ourselves just because we want to. You had a lot of interesting thoughts in your comment, I’ll have to think on it for a little while. I do agree that homo-eroticism seems to be present throughout a lot of societies historically speaking. Hm…
February 12, 2009 at 2:48 pm. Permalink.
Brandon replied:
Wow, This is a VERY VERY VERY good article/blog. commenting on goldnsilver: I have seen papers/articles like this too. Of course there is going to be a higher suicide rate and lower rate of mental health in homosexuals, you would have thoughts of suicide and bad mental health if people told you it was wrong to have sex with a partner of the opposite sex! Back to the article, very good point, I don’t understand why God created them–for I believe he did create them that way–but I believe he has some kind of purpose behind it. Anyway, it’s not up to us to know until we get to ask him one day.
September 10, 2009 at 3:22 am. Permalink.
goldnsilver replied:
Trying to make a scientifically traceable ‘reason’ for homosexuality has become the latest way for homophobes to try and shielf their hatred.
‘But look, they are a genetic abnormality – they can’t be treat like equal human beings!’
Its the neo-homophobe, who figured that ‘my religion says so’/'gays are just icky’ won’t really hold up in debate any longer. So they turn to psuedo-science and dubiously based statistics.
(I recently read a research paper that concluded that homosexuals are more likely to do drugs, have a higher likelihood to depression and fail at monogamous relationships than straight people – yet looking at the people used for this survey they only used gay people between 20 and 30, who lived in city areas. You will find that if you do the same survey on straight people in that bracket, that you will get similar results. Yet bigots were using this to tout that homosexuals were ‘therefore’ definately bad for society)
February 13, 2009 at 4:13 am. Permalink.
Rickr0ll replied:
Listen, i think it’s dumb to assume only homophobes think there is a genetic difference. I know for a fact that this is an objection made by homosexuals themselves, saying, “look, it’s not me, it’s the Genes!” I’ve heard it said.
And there are a lot of research papers that really lean on scaring homosexuality out of people, which is retarded to the nth degree. What is accomplished with such statements? Pity? You know whats Really bad for society? having more than 2 kids! But that’s not something anyone has the balls to admit- that our population has a stranglehold on our entire global economy!
It’s really incredulous that anyone who might not be conforming to the “settle down and have kids” lifestyle would be singled out and scapegoated even though much much worse things have been done by heterosexuals to themselves in relationships- and have been passing on these behaviors down through the generations.
February 13, 2009 at 11:00 pm. Permalink.
Tony replied:
I believe I’ve answered that question a few times. But you know as well as I that homosexuality exists in many species in the animal kingdom. And hermaphrodites exist too why do they? Poor hermaphrodites, they’re not allowed to marry at all because they’re neither a man nor a woman. Sucks to be them that the standard definition of marriage excludes them totally.
February 14, 2009 at 9:54 pm. Permalink.
goldnsilver replied:
Listen, i think it’s dumb to assume only homophobes think there is a genetic difference. I know for a fact that this is an objection made by homosexuals themselves, saying, “look, it’s not me, it’s the Genes!” I’ve heard it said.
I’m not saying that there is or isn’t a genetic, chemical or psychological difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals.
What I was pointing out is that many people are trying to use scientific research on the subject to draw lofty conclusions that suit their own point of view (on either side). The point is, ‘why’ doesn’t really matter that much and it certainly doesn’t count in arguing against someone’s rights.
Good point about the population thing.
February 14, 2009 at 11:53 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
I’m totally staying out of the argument of who has more to gain from proving why homosexuality exists- I think that regardless of the answer, people would use it to pad their own arguments (which I’m thinking is what goldnsilver really meant), so there’s no real worth in knowing the answer, only in learning to live with each other lovingly anyway.
and Toe-Knee: interesting point. It’s unsettling to wonder if people with genetic disorders are really considered less… human, legally speaking. Although arguably homosexuals aren’t really treated as fully human, either.
*sigh*
February 19, 2009 at 5:22 pm. Permalink.
xan replied:
bayot moh tanan!
June 16, 2010 at 5:21 am. Permalink.