What do gay people do when no one is looking?
*
Someone actually googled that question, and ended up on my blog as a result. The post in question had an offhand comment about how Christians shouldn’t be so concerned with what gay people do when no one is looking. At least, I believe, we should be no more concerned than we are with what ANYONE does when no one is looking.
That leads to a question- What, exactly, do people do when the world has it’s back turned?
To examine this further, I’ll look at what I (notably a heterosexual Christian female of 26 years of age) do when the world shuts it’s eyes.
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Showering
- Using the toilet
- Reading various books (currently Watchmen, the Bible, and Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods)
- Drawing
- Cleaning the house
- Washing dishes
- Cooking
- Stealing brownies or cookies and neglecting to add the calories to my food diary.
- Just laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, adamantly doing nothing (which I generally later feel guilty over)
- Wondering what it would be like to actually be a superhero. Yes, some section of my mentality just refuses to grow up.
- Secretly loathing certain segments of my religion. (Oops, guess it’s not so secret now.)
- Blog
- Peruse IMDB (The internet movie database, that bastion of useless movie trivia)
- Playing “six degrees of separation” with my Thesaurus. (Look up one word, then a synonym of that word- do this six times, and compare the definition. Yes, I find this fascinating.)
- Pick at the bottom of my feet
- Drink too much Pepsi
- Stare at the contents of my fridge, wonder when I stopped buying sugary items, wonder if I would be a freak if I dipped grapes in raw sugar.
- And, finally, if all of these other items have been totally exhausted and I still have the energy, I will engage in adult activities with the human being of my choice, who also happens to be my husband. These adult activities are often as boring as debating politics. They don’t necessarily involve disrobing or anything that could lead to procreation.
And I know many gay people who have been asked this question, and answered much the same way. They bake, they clean, they read and blog and maybe watch too much TV. Sometimes they have a partner in life they are devoted to, and they may engage in the kinds of things that two adults do in a bedroom at night. (Read in bed, ask if they’ve gained weight, wear woolly socks. Maybe that other stuff, too.) You know, they are humans. They have human lives. Their lives are simultaneously dull and amazing, banal and magnificent.
Like me.
Like everyone.
*! Rare second post! Huzzah!
Personal Failure replied:
We’re all triumphantly banal and fascinatingly boring. Even rock stars and presidents have to pee and shave.
Unfortunately, large portions of the world seem convinced that homosexuals are engaging in pig sex (no lie, there was a huge “report” on it at World Net Daily) when no one is looking.
Is there an emoticon for annoyed dismay?
March 3, 2009 at 4:37 pm. Permalink.
Stephanie replied:
Hahahaha.
Awesome.
March 3, 2009 at 5:18 pm. Permalink.
Topper replied:
Grrrr, it didn’t let me paste the image that was SUPPOSED to go with that. A preview function wouldn’t kill you, WordPress!
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76/mightyjalapeno/man2-bacon.jpg
March 3, 2009 at 5:20 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
Personal Failure: Holy bestiality, Batman! I looked around just to make sure you weren’t jerking me around (I am really, really cynical, you know) and Concerned Women for America had an article about “concerned citizens” in Chicago trying to get the police to bust a “pig sex orgy” in Chicago because it’s a public health hazard. There was a disclaimer that pig sex is just slang for rough sex… but I bet a lot of people don’t pay attention.
Uh… yeah…
Stephanie: Thanks!
Topper: LMAO!
March 3, 2009 at 5:26 pm. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
Heeheehee on your list.
Gah!!! on CWA and Worldnetdaily and… everything else of that ilk. *Why* do they habitually focus on stuff that’s so outré and act as if it’s somehow a norm?!! (Rhetorical question there!)
March 4, 2009 at 2:00 am. Permalink.
goldnsilver replied:
How’s Watchmen going for you?
I could pretty much write a similarly ‘banal/fascinating’ list for you about my sister.
Most people seem to believe that lesbians basically spend all day impersonating men and fisting one another, but for my sister today it was working and driving just like everyone else.
March 4, 2009 at 10:27 am. Permalink.
Lori D replied:
This was a compelling post, and I couldn’t help but jump to here from another friend’s site. Isn’t it amazing how SIMILAR we are as people when we’re not so focused on things that we think define others?
I have a feeling that Christ knew exactly what it felt like to be human, and still was without sin. Amazing. He knows my name, AND he knows how I feel.
March 5, 2009 at 1:46 am. Permalink.
bridgeout replied:
YES!!! And AMEN!!! I have said more than once… I don’t have a “lifestyle” I live a life. Thank you Lindsey!
March 6, 2009 at 4:19 am. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
e2c: Why oh why INDEED!
You’re right: not a lifestyle, just a life.
goldnsilver: All people are fundamentally the same. I wonder why so many people don’t notice that? We all have the same basic needs, drives, desires… *sigh*
Lori: It truly is amazing to think that Christ was once a kid who got too dirty and maybe didn’t want to take a bath!
bridgeout: Here’s to being human!
March 6, 2009 at 11:08 am. Permalink.
faemom replied:
Great post! I’m glad I’m not the only one who fantasizes about being a superhero.
Isn’t it kind of funny, kind of sad that people wonder what gay people are ACTUALLY doing when no one watches? Like people are worried that they might be enteracting with some kind of freak.
March 6, 2009 at 8:36 pm. Permalink.
Lindsey replied:
I’m so glad you’re back!
It is sad that people think that way. Because, honestly, aren’t we ALL kind of freaks? And we’re all perfectly normal, too. That’s just life.
March 7, 2009 at 1:41 pm. Permalink.
e2tc replied:
Lindsey, I also feel compelled to point out that these “Christian” media outlets never seem to bat an eyelash over outré heterosexuals – even though there are plenty of them out there.
And never, ever, have I seen any kind of outreach/ministry/parachurch organization geared toward helping straight men and women who have various kinds of sexual problems (paraphilias, whatever). You know where people who want help with those things – and many others – go when they *really* need to get help or just find someone who’ll listen to them without being judgmental?
Ex-gay ministries (the better ones, that is). Seriously.
March 9, 2009 at 9:59 pm. Permalink.
infamousqbert replied:
i’m having a heck of a time finding the post i wanted to reference, but http://www.shakesville.com has some posts on a similar theme. the general consensus over there is that there’s a LOT of sexual repression in the republican/conservative world. so, there’s a lot of THINKING about sex, instead of having it or talking openly about it, which leads them to the conclusion that, since the queer community is so much more open about their talking about sex, they must also be much more open about doing it and doing it in anyway, anywhere they can. to me, it seems that there’s actually a little bit of jealousy there. although, if they’ve ever heard of “lesbian bed death syndrome” they wouldn’t stay jealous for long.
March 10, 2009 at 5:03 pm. Permalink.