Splenda is Perverse: my thoughts on the “Natural Order” of things.
Recently I saw a remark that (paraphrased) said, “you never know what man’s perversion of the natural could lead to.”
I was sorely tempted to reply, “Splenda?”
But I held my tongue. Of course, the original comment was in reply to the “normalization” of “aberrant sexuality”, the kind of language I always feel is used in too broad of strokes. There are still sects of Christianity that feel that any sex that isn’t intended to produce progeny is aberrant, so how do we define what is or isn’t good? (A conversation for another day. Bear with me.) But in any case, to say that “aberrant sexuality” is man “perverting the natural order” also seems to me to be a bit ridiculous. It’s defining what is natural, here on Earth, in relation to God’s intent.
Are we really very sure that we know what God wants our planet to be like?
Does God want us to have microwaves?
Does God want us to have cell phones?
Drive cars?
Drink things sweetened with Splenda?
Does he want us to cage animals in zoos?
Feed dogs prepared meals from tin cans?
Wear polyester?
Live in cities?
Watch television?
Buy food that comes in cardboard containers?
Wear makeup?
Dye our hair?
You may think that I’m being sarcastic, so let me assure you that I am not. Humanity has given shape to the world we now live in. This is not my Father’s world. From the cement skyscrapers blocking our view of the night sky to the McDonald’s wrapper tangled in the bushes in my backyard, this is not my Father’s world. This is our world, and the imprint of humanity “perverting the natural order” is all over the freaking place. I’m telling you, Splenda is perverse. Sugar ought to be sugar, dogs ought to be treated like dogs, people ought to know how to put seeds in the ground and get food from them. To think that our daily lives align with the natural order is truly laughable, unless one truly believes that humanity (given it’s dominion) ought to be able to define what the natural order is.
In which case, why can’t two men decide that there are enough procreators out there, and they can love whom they will?
Again, I am not joking around here. You will rarely read me being more serious than this. If your argument is against perverting nature, take off that polyester shirt when you’re making it.
Okay, maybe not.
My point remains. Humanity, (or at least Western humanity) is removed from nature. Our perception of the natural order is perverted. We really shouldn’t be making that argument unless we’re ready to give up an awful lot of comfort.
Discuss below.
Christians shouldn’t be afraid of Gay Pride.
So yesterday my online world is all a-Twitter with news that Obama has officially named June LGBT Pride month. I heard this news almost entirely from other Christians who were concerned about what this news means for them and their families. I saw things like, “I’m disturbed,” and “Obama is pandering to the left again”, and “it’s a sad day for traditional families.” Even though I’m a heterosexual wife and mother, solidly in the world of mainstream Christianity and living an oh-so-traditional family life, I still find reactions like those of my contemporaries disturbing.
I wanted very badly to respond to all of the comments I was reading as fully as possible, but Twitter’s 140 character limit was painfully constrictive.
So today I write a blog post, and I hope it reaches the right eyes.
Should Christians be disturbed by the Gay Rights and Pride movement? Should we reject our American President if he affirms it?
No.
My reasons?
- Assuming that God “does not intend for anyone to be Gay”, the argument that God is offended by living a gay life only holds water for those who wish to please God. America isn’t made entirely of Christians, and those who disagree with the tenants of our beliefs should still be protected by societal laws while they lead the lives they wish for themselves.
- A gay person being protected while living their life with their partner and family does not impugn on my right to live my traditional life with my “traditional” family.
- No matter what one’s reason, when you have a negative emotional reaction to a gay person being happy and proud of their life, what they read into that is that you don’t want them to be happy. When we, as Christians, say we are “disturbed by”; “upset at”; or “disgusted with” our President showing fidelity to his gay constituency the message the world gets is that we Do Not Like The Gays. This is killing our ability to show them God’s love. I cannot be okay with that.
- No matter how legitimate one’s complaint may be, when one makes a public declaration as a Christian, one must consider the affect that declaration will have on perceptions of Christ and God. Our first duty as Christians is NOT to eradicate sin or make sinning more difficult, but to demonstrate God’s love. We should be showing the value of true discipleship, the fruit of good lives, the happiness and transcendent joy that comes from knowing that Jesus calls us friends. Showing disgust with sin as a primary reaction negates, in the eyes of those who hear it, our greater message. It says, to put it plainly, “you’re not good enough for me.” Is that really the message God would have us get across?
- When making a public declaration our concern must not only be with what we want to say but with how it is heard. You may want to say you’re disappointed, but if what people HEAR is “I hate Gays”, perhaps you should share your disappointment privately and say, “I don’t hate gays” instead.
Christianity looks really selfish at times like these. We look as we need to be protected from sin and we’re offended that more people aren’t thinking about OUR needs, instead of the needs of our gay neighbors. If we are truly Christian, then we know that Jesus is our strength and our shield. We don’t need to be afraid. Our fearful reaction to gay pride shows a lack of faith.
And that is what I wanted to say.
A God-given right to sin.
I recently received a comment that made this argument: God made men in his image. God despises homosexuality. Therefore no one is born gay.
This is an argument I’ve heard before. “God didn’t create anyone to be gay.” Nor did God create anyone with the intention that they be a liar, or a cheat, or depressed, or impoverished, or ill, or unfriendly, or bigoted, or… Well, here’s the thing. Human beings are, in fact, all of those things. Aren’t we? We all have our foibles and our falling short. And yet… didn’t God create us to be human? The first man and woman, they were made in His image. They were Very Good. But God gave them a choice, to obey or follow temptation. They didn’t obey, and since then, there’s been a falling away. Like a copy made of a copy made of a copy made of a copy, humanity may resemble what once was called Very Good, but we’re splotchy and distorted and far from a perfect representation of God’s image.
Like a statue that has weathered a thousand storms, we are made in the form of the artist’s intent, but long ago there was a falling away. There’s a lot of bird poo and insect skeletons and discoloration and the odd missing limb here and there. Yes, God made Adam and Eve in His divine image- but you and I bear the image of the fall.
There’s this little nagging detail: God gave humanity the right to fall away for a reason. To be holy must be a choice, made freely, not an indictment. And I strongly believe that inside of each one of us there is a vision of the person God desires us to be. We don’t need to be reminded of our faults. A liar knows it’s wrong to lie, those who hate derive no pleasure from it, those who eat to excess have their waistlines to remind them why it’s wrong- every sin bears its fruit, and in a very real way we are forced to consume the product of our fallen lives. Throughout the Bible one sees a very simple truth constantly reiterated: the path of Righteousness bears its own reward, and any other path bears its own punishment.
In my eyes the journey to salvation is not undertaken because one hates where one used to be and despises all that dwell there, but because where one is going is such a wonderful place. It may be a small distinction, but it’s an important one.
In any case, God may not have “created” someone to be gay- but he did create them to be human. And as maddening as this truth may be, we all have a God-given right to sin.
*small editorial note: sometimes I have to write as if I’ve made the assumption is that being gay is inarguably wrong, which I apologize for. Constant Readers know it’s a bit more complicated than that.
Total Control.
To get to where I go I need to start somewhere else, so bear with me.
Now. I believe that people have a great deal more control over their lives than they are willing to exercise. Take, as an example, a person who is working in a job where they are forced to carry a far greater load than they can handle over a long period of time. So daily they come home exhausted, with the realization that if this carries on indefinitely they will burn out. They feel trapped, helpless. But are they really trapped? Are they really helpless? They have the option to go to their boss and explain that the workload is unreasonable and that if the situation remains the same they will eventually burn out and have to leave the job. Might this result in them being suddenly fired? Well, sure, but there’s the possibility of a good outcome. Their boss may believe that they are fully capable of handling the workload or it wouldn’t all be getting managed. Their boss may concede. And what if they ARE fired? Is it so much worse to be fired now, while still feeling some modicum of control, than to burn out a year later and have to find a new job while feeling lost, dejected, and incapable?
So control yourself.
But I also have an issue with the idea that we can control EVERYTHING. I have heard people be commanded to control their temptations. Control their sexuality. Control their family. Control everything. As if the moment we become Christians we are not only imbued with the power to achieve that which God has birthed in us, but that we have become little gods ourselves.
This is unfair.
I am married to a man I love entirely. And I want to be with no other man. But that does not mean that the second I married, I ceased any and all attractions to any persons other than my husband. Do I control my response to these attractions? Yes. Absolutely. But I have been attracted, and I have had to exercise control.
Being a Christian doesn’t mean that we are now freed from temptation. The power given to us is power to resist temptation, not to cease it. So how is it reasonable to tell a gay person to just… become straight? I have always struggled with fits of despair and dark depression. Every period of sudden change in my life has also been marked with bloody nightmares, crying jags, and feelings of intense insufficiency. Does the power of God help me to soldier through? Make me capable of pulling myself out? Give me the strength to resist the temptation to be utterly ruled by em0tion? Absolutely. But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t be feeling God’s power in my life if I wasn’t facing temptation.
Think about it.
The most important question isn’t “is being gay a sin?”
Please, dear fellow Christians, stop telling me that homosexual acts are a sin. Please. And when I balk at your reprimand, do NOT tell me I obviously haven’t read the Bible. What you really (very much so) shouldn’t do is tell me that to be a Good Christian means “following the Bible”. I really am never sure what you mean by that. I read my Bible, I find revelation in it, I can demonstrate that who I am and how I behave has changed accordingly. But do I strictly follow every rule and regulation (especially the internally conflicting ones?)? Well…
Is the Bible our best source for truth about Christ? Absolutely. Did Christ strictly follow the religious code of HIS time? Absolutely not. What I have learned by reading that good book is that questions of sin and salvation run far, far, far, far, FAR deeper than following lists of rules. It’s a balance of faith and works that even the most eloquent of passages cannot clearly explain. You could go your entire life trying to understand, trying to achieve, trying to explain… but you’d never get all the way there.
If there were a simple equation, don’t you think Jesus would have told it to us?
But what did he say? Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, and mind… And love your neighbor as yourself.
All the Law and the prophets hinge on it.
Hm.
So here’s the point: The most important question will never be what is sin (or what isn’t). The most important question will always be if we are trying. Are we trying to hear God’s voice? Trying to better ourselves? Trying to leave behind what we can demonstrate is a wrong being? Sure, someone may be gay, but if they’ve heard God telling them to be less cruel and more patient and give more and help in their community and they are doing all of those things, doesn’t that mean something? Demonstrate their true heart? Or is the ONLY important measure of our commitment to God found in our sexuality? Because if that’s the case, I know a lot of straight Christians that haven’t got a chance.
So please, let’s have this conversation. I want to.
Just stop insisting that the most important thing is that homosexual acts are sin.
Can a “Good” Christian embrace gay people?
So recently a post of mine made it to StumbleUpon, which is always an interesting experience. One of the reviews of said post both assumed I’m a man (which I always find gunny) and said that a REAL Christian wouldn’t show tolerance to gay people because a REAL Christian believes in the Bible.
I have several problems with that statement. The first is that suddenly Christian seems to be redefined as Person Who Believes As I Do For The Right Reasons. I think it’s wholly possible for someone to be a Christian and not share my doctrine. For example, I don’t think my harshest critics aren’t Christian. In fact, I believe that I am in no place to cast judgment on their faith. A greater issue, though, is the fact that I feel as if the critics weren’t able to get past their fervent opposition to the idea of homosexuality long enough to fully digest my post.
Why do I say that?
Because I never said being gay was awesome. I tried to outline the reasons most Christians use to affirm their rejection of gay people whole cloth, and then to point out that those excuses end up being counterproductive, and if they were applied to ALL sins, the pews would be empty. How is that saying, “really, being gay is a-okay.” I never even questioned the belief that homosexual behavior was condemned in the Bible. (Although I did poke at the common interpretation of Romans One, which could raise some serious hackles.)
I feel as if my posts aren’t truly being read.
So, I will once again try to explain my beliefs. But, instead of using homosexuality as an example, I’ll use something a bit less controversial. (And all apologies to any gay readers that may find this an unfair comparison: I know, it really is.)
Imagine a drunk comes to your church.
What do you do?
You may well be afraid that he will tempt other members to drunkeness. You may worry that your children may think his drinking is “cool.” You may have many valid worries about what sort of an example he is setting, or if Satan sent him to your church to be disruptive.
But what does God call you to do? Does he call you to send the guy back out into the streets, only to come back when he no longer drinks? Isn’t that tantamount to cursing him to a life of sin? Isn’t the power that he needs to overcome found in God, and thus necessarily needing to be demonstrated through YOU?
Obviously if the man is throwing chairs and puking in the aisles, you don’t want that on Sunday mornings- but if he isn’t openly and belligerently disruptive, isn’t the best move to walk beside him in grace and compassion and pray that God (not you) brings him to a revelation of his weakness?
Or imagine a less obvious sin. Imagine a husband comes to your church, and over the course of a few months it becomes obvious that he speaks to his wife in a snide and combative way, and it is emotionally abusive to her? Do you then cast him out and tell him to only come back when he’s ready to overcome his pride and cruelty?
Obviously there comes a time, in any situation where sin is “obvious”, where you tell the sinner that they need to make a commitment to change. My issue is that I feel that most churches handle this issue badly now- and not just with homosexuality- with ALL sin. We feel that WE must cast conviction, that WE must pass judgment, that WE know man’s heart. And guess what? We don’t.
We need to learn to trust God to do His own job. If someone is seeking God, and God is seeking them, God will speak to their heart and call them to change.
And for the time being, let’s trust each other. Show each other love and compassion, understanding and true friendship. Let’s not allow our house to become divided.
Overheard in my head
Person A: What, so all I have to do is focus really hard, and I can stop being gay?
Person B: If you pray hard enough and trust in God, yes.
Person A: So if you focused really hard, could you become gay?
Person B: Why would I want to do that?
Person A: For the sake of argument let’s imagine you do.
Person B: But why would anyone want to just be gay, just like that?
Person A: imagining you do…
Person B: But I wouldn’t ever want to.
Person A: Okay, so we’ve got a lack of imagination here.
Person B: You just need to believe that your life could be completely different than it is now.
Person A: But I wouldn’t ever want to.
(Lindsey scurries to make notes to write this into a novel someday.)
Be More Vulnerable
The second meditation on overcoming obstacles has to do with vulnerability. This one isn’t based off of a Bible verse, but instead sparked from a recent conversation. Someone asked me what I thought a local GLBT&Friends group could do to spread equality on their campus. We talked about a lot of different approaches- but the biggest point, the one that haunted me for the next few days, was that one has to risk being hurt.
You don’t fight a battle, even a spiritual one, without risk of damage.
And the kinds of battles so many of us find ourselves in- battles for hearts and minds- require demonstrations of one’s own heart and faith. And you can’t lay bare your heart before someone else without risking pain. If I want to share the depth and wonder of my faith, it means letting people into my past. It means telling stories that are embarrassing, painful, sometimes nothing short of humiliating. If I want people to understand why I believe in God, I have to tell them how God has worked in my life. If I want to tell them how God has worked in my life, it means exposing a point of weakness. If I have to expose a point of weakness…
True Evangelism does not come from a place of strength, but instead from a place of vulnerability. It entices people and draws them in. It is not exhibitionism or flagrancy- it is shy and tender, it is done with love and knowledge of our own fallibility. One of the greatest impediments to overcoming obstacles is not our weakness- as God makes us sufficient- but misplaced pride.
The need for vulnerability is especially noticeable with Christian homosexuals. Explaining how they feel their sexuality doesn’t bar them from faith means exposing the wholeness of their being. This is something that can be incredibly painful to do, as many people attempt this kind of honesty only to be attacked intimately as a result of it.
But yet vulnerability is still required.
Jeremiah 23:9
Concerning the prophets:
My heart is broken within me;
all my bones tremble.
I am like a drunken man,
like a man overcome by wine,
because of the LORD
and his holy words.
What do gay people do when no one is looking?
*
Someone actually googled that question, and ended up on my blog as a result. The post in question had an offhand comment about how Christians shouldn’t be so concerned with what gay people do when no one is looking. At least, I believe, we should be no more concerned than we are with what ANYONE does when no one is looking.
That leads to a question- What, exactly, do people do when the world has it’s back turned?
To examine this further, I’ll look at what I (notably a heterosexual Christian female of 26 years of age) do when the world shuts it’s eyes.
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Showering
- Using the toilet
- Reading various books (currently Watchmen, the Bible, and Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods)
- Drawing
- Cleaning the house
- Washing dishes
- Cooking
- Stealing brownies or cookies and neglecting to add the calories to my food diary.
- Just laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, adamantly doing nothing (which I generally later feel guilty over)
- Wondering what it would be like to actually be a superhero. Yes, some section of my mentality just refuses to grow up.
- Secretly loathing certain segments of my religion. (Oops, guess it’s not so secret now.)
- Blog
- Peruse IMDB (The internet movie database, that bastion of useless movie trivia)
- Playing “six degrees of separation” with my Thesaurus. (Look up one word, then a synonym of that word- do this six times, and compare the definition. Yes, I find this fascinating.)
- Pick at the bottom of my feet
- Drink too much Pepsi
- Stare at the contents of my fridge, wonder when I stopped buying sugary items, wonder if I would be a freak if I dipped grapes in raw sugar.
- And, finally, if all of these other items have been totally exhausted and I still have the energy, I will engage in adult activities with the human being of my choice, who also happens to be my husband. These adult activities are often as boring as debating politics. They don’t necessarily involve disrobing or anything that could lead to procreation.
And I know many gay people who have been asked this question, and answered much the same way. They bake, they clean, they read and blog and maybe watch too much TV. Sometimes they have a partner in life they are devoted to, and they may engage in the kinds of things that two adults do in a bedroom at night. (Read in bed, ask if they’ve gained weight, wear woolly socks. Maybe that other stuff, too.) You know, they are humans. They have human lives. Their lives are simultaneously dull and amazing, banal and magnificent.
Like me.
Like everyone.
*! Rare second post! Huzzah!
